BMTC Bus In Motion

Hindhe Hogi Hindhe Hogi
(Go Back Go Back)
Ashtondh jaga edhe alli
(There is so much space there)
Yaralli ticket?
(Buy your tickets)
sounded the bus conductor of a typical BMTC bus. The bus is packed with human beings worried about getting a seat rather than being happy that he is still alive with that 2% of oxygen available in that steel compartment. There is barely any space for people to stand inside the bus in spite of which the bus driver diligently stops at every stop and for every other person who waves his hand to take that ride. Meanwhile the conductor is only bothered about the space that he can still create to accommodate another 15 of them irrespective of the truth that people press into each other in order to enable the bus driver to close the doors. As the people are trying hard to find some space to hold on to themselves with the help of the rods the conductor wades through the crowd like a fish in the water. Genetically, bus conductors are born so thin that they can squeeze through and fit themselves anywhere. This acts negatively on the healthy people who are on his bus. As he goes about his duty of issuing tickets he makes sure he gets the required attention from the people who usually are not prone to carry the exact change. As he swings himself from one side to the other in tandem to the driver's driving he randomly makes a comment on that poor girl's size who is finding it hard to let the conductor squeeze past her. Conductor do justice to their jobs by unwantedly raising their voice as if it provided some kind of a bonus to the compensation that they already receive.
The same nature is inversed if the conductor knows that a few girls whom he knows is on the bus. Then he acts all civilized. He mellows down his voice and you will find him flirting with those college going kids with a sly smile on his face. Begins his writing work on that one sheet of paper that he holds with a cardboard beneath it. Then his conversation topic undergoes metamorphosis from abusing the next bus driver who is speeding past his bus to homely matters! Suddenly it strikes him that he has to keep a tab on the collection obtained with that trip and starts counting notes. He becomes conscious of the fact that 'Ladies' seat belongs to the same gender and not the other.
You have been comfortably seated on that bus and the person sitting next to you gets down at his stop. Then there is a bull fight for that one seat in the process of which your expensive 'Catwalk' shoes gets stamped. Now the worst part is the lady sitting opposite to you facing you has a kindergarten kid in her hand. That kid is up to mischief and keeps kicking your black formal pants soiling your clothes that was worn intended to impress your client so that you get the required hike during your appraisal period. As you are recuperating from the heartbreak of having gotten up in the morning to iron that pant you will feel somebody rubbing against you. As you raise your head you will find that the conductors ass is rubbing against your shoulder as he is trying to balance himself. This just adds to your frustration and more creepy thoughts are churned in your head. Is he doing it on purpose!?Omg! He is rubbing it on my clean shirt!?Duhh.. he stinks! why can't he take a shower and come? and so on..
Amidst all this there will be a handsome looking techie who would have just hopped on the bus with his huge laptop bag from the front door. As he is up to enlightening your mood the conductor is right there to grab all the limelight from him and whine about the huge bag that he has on him which consumes so much space and shoos him away to the back only to reassure the guys in the bus that only I get to be there(among the ladies)!This might appear to be heart breaking for guys who would want to stand next to their chicks and make random conversation during the ride! With so much happening around you fail to notice that your cleavage is visible. Suddenly you will notice a dozen pair of eyes gaping at you like you just stole their virginity! This is the time when you realize that it's a taboo if girls showed their cleavage even by mistake while they have all the rights reserved to fantasize them secretly!
Finally by the time you have to get down at your stop there is a plethora of thoughts running in your head that leaves you drained with all the positivity required to start your day at office with much more to handle there!

Ode to the Nice Guys

This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.